This Broken Place by Jared Shuff (Original)

Changed.

Fall is now.
Winter is coming around.
Skies of clouds.
Darker than the grey areas in the crowd.
Fire and air fighting against each other.
Inside my head.
I changed my hair.
According to the sea.
To keep the innocent inside me.
I've begged on my knees.
Trying not to plead.
Even though it was plain to see.
Emotions have changed.
Only a few could notice.
I decided to save myself.
I hope thats enough to prove.
Everything is spinning, yet I'm the only one.
The only one that can change.
I'm the only thing that can stop the chains.
I'm the only one to stop the craziness.
That seems to illuminate.
The only reality that I can bear to see.
I hardened my words.
I straightened my spine.
I took what I'm given to return in insolent
With bitterness in my mouth.
The things I wished to never taste.
Yet.. Here it is.
Lump in my throat, no longer swallowing my pride.
Because now it's nothing.
It's not even a disguise.
For you, to sit there and stray.
Linger! In my presence..
Eating away.. Every single inch of my kind.
Kind of love that no one has experienced.
I have changed.
And it's the best for now.

Swirling

Tugging and pulling.
Working till the ending is sickening.
Lost in the whirl of nothingness.
Closing the door on the closet monster.
Smuggling the breath with wool.
Tightly knitted with straight stitching.
We used to circle each other.
Like rapid souls.
Now it just decays into what it was.

Pretty pictures tend to show the coloring.
Coloring outside the lines.
Like a child plays and tries to lie.
For a while it works.
Until time is hurt.
And decides to take that prize as coal.
No longer works over anymore.

Contagious anxiety.
As a telescope can define.
Every little secret that lies behind.
Behind those that have eyes.
Behind any eye.

Time has come to say itself.
By itself.
To stand for itself.
Swirling no longer.
In that constant worry.
All completed with stress and tears.
Pick up the dirt and replant it.
Just not near you.
Just very deep beneath you.

Everything.

Everything twists and turns
I know it burns
The ups and downs
They can't seem to stay straight
As it seems to always stray away.
Yes and no are the colds words.
The truth can hurt
Just as much as you lie to the souls
There are so many things that are left untold.
There are things you just can not control.

The different realities
Through different eyes
Everything that we see could all be a lie.
Different strategies that we perform.
Like it's a chaotic storm.
Asking questions that you've never asked before.

Questioning the thoughts you once thought.

Thought you had it all figured out?

Perceptions are such a distraction.

Trying to keep all the smarts, just as much as the love you starve.

Where in the world has everything gone? 

Severed souls

In the dark eyes of perception,

that see the grayest souls who hid,

she is the beauty beyond perfection,

she is the angel that heaven forbid.

From the spirits that calm the weak,

who tread this earth with open arms,

she is the unseen, but not to me,

she is the energy I felt unharmed.

The gentle steps she takes with grace,

the loving heart she gives away,

she is the giver with no face,

she is the lover who always stays.

One day she looked, and I looked back,

to see a soul split in half,

she was the heart with a crack,

she is the hero who always laughed.

In the bright eyes of her deception,

It could be seen her soul was paired,

she was the life that made my exception,

she was the soul of which we now share.

Thorns

(Lyrics to a song I wrote, but have not recorded.)

Breathing from constricted lungs

I’m hearing words in foreign tongues

Trying to comprehend what’s going on

How can the world just fall apart

You stepped on my soul, you crushed my heart

Everything we ever were was somehow gone

These wounds should heal, it’s in the past

But the scars from our time, will always last

If love’s like a rose, I’m grasping onto thorns

The memories of a time so sweet

I’m playing them over on repeat

The images are slowly getting worn

And I feel torn

The gardens I walk through have lost their color

The stars lost their shine, the moment that our love died

The moon disappeared and the sun never rose

The blackness around makes it hard to see the upside

Roses are red, just like my bloodshot eyes

The sleepless nights are making it hard to rise

Please let me know, when the thorns will finally subside

God knows I’ve tried

To get through the night

Facing the mirror to see a ghost

An empty vessel, a broken host

It shatters the same way that you shattered me

The pieces of glass on the bathroom floor

Are making it hard to get out the door

I crawl through the shards, I don’t care if I bleed

I just wanna be free

The gardens I walk through have lost their color

The stars lost their shine, the second that our time died

The moon disappeared and the sun never rose

The blackness around makes it hard to see the upside

Roses are red, just like my bloodshot eyes

The sleepless nights are making it hard to rise

Please let me know, when the thorns will finally subside

God knows I’ve tried

To get through the night

I’m grasping so tight to the thorns that we created

My fingers are bleeding, but maybe the pain was fated

Maybe I should let go of you

Clean off the blood, and bandage the wounds

All of these thorns cut so deep like a knife that’s serrated

I think I need sedated

The gardens I walk through have lost their color

The stars lost their shine, the second that our time died

The moon disappeared and the sun never rose

The blackness around makes it hard to see the upside

Roses are red, just like my bloodshot eyes

The sleepless nights are making it hard to rise

Please let me know, when the thorns will finally subside

God knows I tried

To get through the night

Who You Are

Be somebody nobody else thought you could be,

I read these words to myself quietly

As I thought

Have I not done so?

No one thought I would make it as far as I have in life

Everyone is surprised by the person I turned out to be

But me?

No, I’m not surprised at all, I am who I am because of necessity

The cold hard truth is I am who I am because I have to be.

There are so many people out there who are who they are because they have to be

I’m not special; everyone is who he or she is

Because of the situations they were forced to endure by life

Everyone on the face of this earth is his or her own person

Because of the challenges they had to face in their lives

Everyone is unique don’t twist my words into something they are not

But why should we have to prove anything to anyone other than ourselves?

Terrified

I'm terrified of spiders

They're nasty, creepy creatures

That make my skin crawl

It doesn't matter how big the spider is

As long as it has eight legs

And a bunch of ugly eyes

I'll be running away screaming

You know what also freaks me out

Birds

I know, ridiculous, but have you ever been attacked by birds

Five hawks

Three chickens

A parrot

A swan

And even a pigeon flew at me once

It freaks me out

There's another thing that scares me

Death

What happens when we die

Is our existence really only limited to the few years we have on Earth

When we die, will it actually be anything

Or will everything be gone

Of course, if that's true

We would never know

Because we would be a part of that never-ending blackness

A few lines from a song I love go like this

"I admit that it’s difficult to think about

I think everybody got a little bit of doubt

You don’t get to hide from it even if you shout

Not a soul on the planet gets to wiggle out"

Death is inevitable

I believe that our existence is too intricate to mean nothing in the scheme of things

There has to be something other than eternal nothingness after we die

But I have time before that happens

Or do I

We never know when the time is gonna come

I could drive home today after school and be hit be a semi

Crushed on impact

A man with a gun could try and rob my family

And decide it's best not to leave any witnesses

The struggle of not knowing is the most difficult thing to ever experience

I try to keep a strong face about this

Because I know others who have this fear worse than me

But is there really a way to measure the fear of the end

I block the concept from my mind

Trying to live in the moment

Typing on a keyboard the thoughts I try so desperately to ignore

I'm terrified

Seventeen years old

The average life span for a male in America is seventy-eight

Sixty-one years until I reach that point

That seems like forever, but it really isn't

1. College
2. Career
3. Marriage
4. Children
5. Retirement
6. Nursing Home
7. Coffin

All the major milestones I have left

All in seven steps

When life is categorized in milestones

Time is shorter than I could ever imagine

I joke about death

All so I don't take it too seriously

The day I was told that everybody is going to die

I cried and begged for it not to be true

A little kid wanting life to go on forever

I sit here today remembering that day

Because sometimes

I still feel like that kid

Unthinkable

He stood atop the ferris wheel, dressed in black from top to bottom. He had dark auburn hair, green eyes; he was moderately tall. The thoughts racing through his head were ones of jumping into the water below, self loathing, and self distaste. Hearing the joyous screams of the people below him made him want to jump more. No one noticed that he was at the top of the ferris wheel, like in everyday life when no one noticed him. Looking at the sunset he thought it would be a beautiful way to die, sailing through the warmth of sunlight, a warmth he had never felt in his life; the warmth of happiness. He then looked down at the water, it was covered in thousands of colors from the sunset. This added to his thoughts of a beautiful death, when he landed, the ripples of the water would make even more colors; maybe he could pretend that he was bright and colorful enough to make someone happy in his last moments. Then he looked toward the sky, finally seeing it in full. It sucked his breath away; one side of the sky was a dark imposing blue, the other side a tiny splotch of a multitude of colors. It reminded him of his life, dark with a little color.

A sudden buzzing in his pocket brought him back to the harsh reality he was facing. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It was his sister. He slid his finger over, answering her call, thinking of how to say his goodbye.

“Caecus are you there?” his sister said over the phone, very brightly as was usual.

“Yes Lucerna, I’m here.” he replied, his voice grave.

“How have you been? It’s been awhile, but I had a nagging feeling that I should call you.” she replied rapidly, still happy.

“Well…” ,he was unsure of how to say what he was thinking, “Have I ever told you how much you have meant to me through the years sis? How much I love you?” he started.

“No, but you don’t have to Caecus, I’ve never told you how much you mean to me either or how much I love you. I thought they were mutual feelings…” she said, her happiness coming down, turning into confusion.

“Well, you mean a lot to me, especially with the way you helped me after dad left, and then again a few years ago when mom died of a heroin overdose. You helped me get through my depression, or most of it, and I can’t ever show enough gratitude. Well, I think you have the right to know that my depression came back worse than before, I have nightmares every night about what happened, I can’t deal with it anymore…I’m on top of a ferris wheel about to jump. I can’t take it anymore, there’s just too much to take, I can’t do it. I’m sorry Lucerna, I love you more than you will ever know.” he blurted it out without stopping, not caring what happened afterwards, he was done.

“Caecus wait…!” he hung up the phone and dropped it into the water below.

He stepped off the ledge saying “Mom here I come, I love you…”

His stomach filled with the sensation of falling, every nerve in his body started fighting for survival, but he stopped them and went limp, feeling the warmth from the sunshine and seeing the colors rushing towards him on the wavy surface of the water.

Metal Bodies: Chapter 5

Emme awoke sitting up with a water bottle in his mouth. The person who had put it there was sitting next to him. It was one of the riot-geared people. Immediately aware, Emme slapped the bottle out, “What are you doing?!”
“You said last night that you haven't drank or eaten lately so I-” he bowed down and picked up the stark bottle, “fed and gave you water.”
“In my sleep?”
“Yes, also after Alex is done doing whatever, head outside. We have something to show you.”
“Thanks… I guess," Emme gazed over to the sink. Alex was settled over it with a cloth rubbing against part of his face. Oil Band rose up and left the cell, giving two finger guns just before leaving. They both sat there not talking until Alex took a deep breath, turned around, and said, “I'm ready.”
“What were-”
“Don't worry about it, Let's go," he said walking out as Emme stared taken aback by this. Outside, sitting parallel to the opening of the fence was the bus. Pasted onto it was a map of a rectangular state that was missing a corner. “Play along with them. This will help us get on their good side and the sooner we get out of here. Got it?” Alex asked Emme as they ambled outside, into the prison yard. He nodded. When they were just a few yards away from the bus, a drum roll started. “The stone-faced assistant and muscle builder, we have Stone Hand!” someone said. Subsequently, Stone Hand bounced out from behind the bus. “The smart, strong, and leader of our group, Zero One!” following that they jumped up onto the top of the bus. “The medic that will keep you alive, Oil Band!” They said walking out from behind the bus. They were drumming on a small drum tied around their waist. Oil Band continued, “And lastly we have the tea-” Then a jeep, with two people in it, blasted from the other side of the prison, halting just in between Emme, Alex, and the bus. “I’m Gunner C.” one person in the jeep said. “And I’m Accelerator T.” the other said. “And we are The Riot Suitors!” they all announced at once. Alex started to clap for them, and Emme echoed this. “Thank you and thank you. This performance was planned by Oil Band just so you know," Zero One said leaping down from the top of the bus. “Now that the introductions are done, let me tell you of our group. We are a ‘collection of the trained and specially selected to deal with an enemy that would appear against our nation,” Zero One continued. Alex put his hand on his sides nudging Emme in the process and said, “So you brought us to this place to protect us from this ‘enemy’. Wow, that is noble. By the way what exactly was that enemy?”
“That enemy would be a large group of people. They are dangerous and manipulative.”
“I see. So what has this group done?”
“To be honest, this group was once like you and us. They were citizens and Riot Suitors. Around 16 years ago a doctor was punished for treason against us. She had birthed a child and refused to have it grow strong and protect the people of the nation. After her punishment, someone by the name of Squash and many citizens planned to run away from here. They had planned a revolt and in the confusion they would have run. On the day the said revolt happened what seemed to be all of the citizens, at the time, and Squash stole food and water, killed and injured many Riot Suitors, and then they disappeared into the land. Oil Band was put into a coma and he was the only one of the injured to survive. Now after a little over a decade we are now stable again. And after searching and digging, we’ve finally found that large group. And I specifically was told that they kidnapped you. So you're welcome.”
“So you want to do… whatever for revenge.”
“Yes, as you might have guessed the Riot Suitors are on their last legs. This will probably be the last mission we complete, but it might never have happened. And it’s not like we can do anything else. So why not get revenge on the people that killed us. Also I think it would be best if you two came along to help extinguish this evil,” Zero One concluded. Emme, however, neglected this; he concentrated more on remembering the plan than Zero One's story. Accelerator T. and Gunner C. got out of the jeep and everyone in the group began to push the bus away. “Follow us,” Zero One said.

After pushing the bus to where the jeep came from, Zero One started to present the things taped to it, “Now as you can see on this map, this is our state. And in this state is a city. This city is abandoned, but somehow the group turned a part of the city into a town that is very efficient. That city’s name is Nunswillmen and it is right here," Zero One said pointing at a place at the map. Emme’s eyes turned to dinner plates. He began to frequently look at the jeep. He wasn’t even listening to Zero One. “Got it?” they asked and stopped ranting. “Yeah,” Alex said with assurance. Emme said likewise, but anxiously. Emme’s breath became erratic. He began edging away from the bus. No one noticed until he was a bit away from the group. “Hey what are you doing Emme?” Alex questioned, nodding a bit right afterwards. “I’ll go get him," he said to the Riot Suitors. Emme was just in between the bus and the jeep when Alex reached him. He stopped, turned facing Alex and said, “We’re going now. If they find out I’m from that city, they’ll kill me.”

“Then just don’t say anything, or lie even.”

“I can’t if we go back there they’ll recognize me and I’ll be kill just like the rest of them.”

“Looks like you're right.”

“So what are we gonna do.”

“...OK, I got it, first walk a bit back, then run for the jeep. It’s still running.”
“OK,” Emme and Alex peered back at the Riot Suitors, who were giving each other looks of suspicion. The two took one step back towards them. Two steps toward them. Three steps towards them. Then they swiftly turned back, and started running towards the jeep. The Riot Suitors screamed and yelled at them, running to grab weapons from the back of the bus. Except for Oil Band, who was leaning against the bus, everyone was sprinting. When Emme and Alex had just grasped the handles of the jeep the back window exploded from bullets that continued through the windshield Nevertheless, the two got inside. And correct to Alex, the jeep was still running. Emme clutched the steering wheel, shifted the stick to drive, and slammed down on the gas pedal. The two blasted out of the prison, puffing a large dust cloud in the faces of the Riot Suitors.
With the prison just out of sight, Emme started to breathe regularly again. “What now?” he said. “First, we need to get a map. Second, we traverse the land back to the town. Third, we get you back to the town. Fourth, I return to my home," Alex answered.
“Do you have any idea where we can get a map.”
“No, but don't worry about it.”
“Are you serious!?”
“Yeah, it was now or never. You were the one that freaked out because they said something. And we can worry about stuff like that later.”
“We don't have anything idiot!”
“No, we’ll be fine, we have… uh," Alex looked onto the back of the jeep. There was a hefty jug full of water, two bags with something in them, and a ton of cans, all of which were topped with glass. “A lot of stuff. Like water and food and stuff, don't worry.”
“What, why would they have this now?”
“It's probably just regular equipment for a trip or something," Alex sat back and Emme continued driving the car. He stared forward, straight down the road.
The sun burned down on them. The only scenery they could see was an open field. That was if both of them were awake. Alex had fallen asleep by this time. And Emme was still driving, nothing in sight. But slowly something crawled up his face and blinded him in the eye. He started slapping to his right, bashing Alex in the face. “What… what are you doing?” he said. “Something’s in my eye! Do something!” Emme angrily replied. Alex looked around the car, until his eye rested on the glove compartment. It had plastic gems and jewels attached to it. He opened the box. Inside were a large white bottle and a pistol. The bottle had a label that read, “Moet et Chandon”. He put away the bottle and put the pistol in his lap. Inside the handle of the pistol was a clip containing 5 bullets. “Alright, we can defend ourselves if something-” He said. Emme stopped the car and got out, Alex followed him. They had stopped outside a caravan. “Hello sirs, what can I help you with today?” a person outside the caravan said. “We need a road map," Emme answered.
“Oh yes, I have one of those. But we will need to trade.”
“Uh… yeah," Emme stared blankly at the person. Alex looked at the two, sighed, and walked back to the car. He pulled out the white bottle. “Will this work?” Alex said offering it. The person accepted the bottle and said, “Yes, that will suffice. And… is this Brut?”
“... Yes.”
“You know what. Do you have a music player?”
“Nope.”
“Seeing as you gave me such a great trade I’ll give you a stereo in exchange.”
“Thank you very much," Alex and Emme watched as the person strode into their caravan, and out with a map and a stereo. The two shook hands with the person and returned to the car. Alex looked at Emme and said, “So… you OK? Like you kinda went blank.” Emme started to drive when he said, “I’ve just never done ‘trading’. I think that’s what it's called.”

“... Can I play some music?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” Alex heard this and looked at the stereo. Inside was a cassette tape already inside the player. “Roundabout - Yes”, the tape read. He turned on the stereo and hit play. Then the two rode through the evening.

Somnium

In the midst of all that's unspoken

we will stand together hand and hand

The hearts that lie silent and broken

will arrive here to their final stand

Though the agony, fear, and dismay

delivers a cause to fear the flame

The youthful Pain that strips you to fray

will see that you and me aren't to blame

While we live through pitch black fantasies

broken realities in our heads

Our ending will bring us on our knees

to find that silence is all that bled

The Severed Head leaves us awoken

opens our mind to unspoken lies

Once you find your neck is left barren

the Dreams you set free will now arise

Emotionless by Jared Shuff (Original)

From The Stars Above

Dedication

For my family and my friends who were there through thick and thin. And for my teachers who taught me everything I know today. Thank you all.

From The Stars Above

By Kyler Kelsey

            It was mid day in Winston county, the sun was shinning, birds were chirping, and children were playing in the park. Little did they know of what was happening  in the sky above. This book is not a third person narrative.

Chapter One

            I was sitting on the couch when my mom walked in and said, “Hey your friend Tom called, he said he found something in his barn he wants you to see.”  “Alright I’ll head over there in about five minutes,” I said. I arrived at Tom’s farm around five thirty in the evening. I got out of my heavy duty four by four pickup and walked to Tom’s barn, where he was waiting for me.

            “So what’s this all about Tom?” I asked.

           

“You are not going to believe this. So I was sitting in my room around midnight last night, there was no sound outside but crickets.”

            “Uh-hu.” I said, urging him to go on.

            “So, I went outside with some coffee and I was standing there for about fifteen minutes, when all of a sudden everything went dead quiet.” He said.

            “What happened next?” I asked as we were walking to his barn.

He gestured inside the barn and said. “Take a look for yourself.” I walked into the barn and the first thing I noticed was the big hole in the side of the barn.

            “What the heck happened here?” I asked

            “Look in the crater, you will find your answer.” Said Tom.

            I didn’t notice the giant crater in the floor of the barn. I crept over to the edge of the hole and I noticed, what looked like an escape pod from a ship. “Go get my truck.” I said to Tom as I was handing him my keys, not breaking my stare from the hole. Tom pulls up to the barn in my truck and gets out.

            “so what are we going to do?”

            “we are going to cut it open before the Feds get here.” We got my acetylene torch from my truck and started it up. We were about to start cutting the door to the pod open, when suddenly the door popped off on its own and the barn filled with fog. When the fog had settled there was a young woman in it dressed in battle armor. She began to climb out slowly, then she stood up and she fainted.

            “we… should get her inside. Hide her from the feds. Who knows what they will do to her. For all we know she’s considered an extra- terrestrial being.”

            “What’s that mean?”

             “It means she’s a fricking alien bro.”

            “Oh. Well crap.”

            We picked her up, threw her arms around our shoulders and carried her inside. We set her on the couch and called our friend Fred but we call him rocket, because he’s into that kind of stuff. Next we called Jake (A.K.A) bookworm, Tim (A.K.A) stargazer. And bill, no one really knows why he hangs around us, or who he really is. When the crew arrived, they got out of the “Venture Van” (Bookworm named it).

            “so what’s this all about?” asked stargazer. “Follow me, Ill show you.” I said.

We went to the barn with the crew following. As we were entering the barn, we heard the sound of helicopters in the distance. “Everyone inside NOW!” I yelled, and everyone ran to the house as if the Devil himself was after us.

Scars

The scars, they weep, the agony creeps 

Memoirs of past, are absently asked 

Emotions are cheap, fall into sleep

The reaper reaps, for the grave runs deep    

What once was a cast, scars to last

For scars, they weep, the agony creeps

So fall asleep, your dreams you shall keep

The pain amassed, your nightmares forecast

For dreams are cheap, just fall into sleep 

Blood's an upkeep, a heart take a leap 

To your heart's contrast, feelings will last 

For blood it weeps, the agony creeps

Thoughts that you keep, the scars that run deep

Are simply the past the world runs past 

For pain is cheap, Just fall into sleep

The scars now sleep, the agony's cheap 

The pain has now passed, the mind outlasts

Some emotions weep, yet some fall to sleep

For the scars that harassed, have healed at last.